Having a perfect daily work routine is crucial for some people. Others are just lucky to make it to work on time. Either way, you’re probably guilty of having occasional thoughts of flipping desks and walking out in the middle of the day, yelling “FREEBIRD” on your way out of the building.
There’s no reason to feel guilty, everyone has them. It’s just that so few of us say them out loud. Except me. I’ll do it for you. Here are 11 thoughts we keep to ourselves about our jobs.
1. The dreaded alarm.
I don’t care how much you love your job, as soon as that alarm goes off your first thought is “how much longer can I lay here until I really have to pee.”
2. The morning workout.
Nope. No. Absolutely not. I’ll just go after work. Snooze one more time.
3. Personal hygiene.
For women, the never-ending struggle of hair. You wonder if you can get away with one more day of dirty hair. Dry shampoo, toss it in a ponytail and get on with the day. For men, it’s a little different. You can just jump in and use soap for everything and be done in like 10 minutes. Boo you.
4. The most important meal of the day.
Black coffee. You promised yourself you would make time to eat a good breakfast. Maybe an egg white scramble? Save it for brunch. Stop at a coffee shop for double espresso shots and a croissant (it’s French so it has to be healthy).
5. You’re either not a morning person, or you’re wrong.
You are either one of two people in the morning at the office. One: Chatty Kathy who wanders around making conversation with anyone willing to listen to avoid work.
Or two: Immediately put headphones on and your head down. Avoid eye contact so no one talks to you and you can catch up on your Facebook newsfeed and recent Buzzfeed posts. I don’t think I have to tell you which one I am.
6. Mid-morning snacks.
By 11 a.m., you are silently yelling at yourself for hitting that extra snooze and not going to the gym. Because then you would have made yourself a filling breakfast and wouldn’t want to eat your arm off. Stay strong, you have an hour until lunch.
7. Lunch hour, or lunch 2 hour(s).
You haven’t gotten any work done in the last hour because you’ve been dreaming about your lunch; your lunch hour turns into 2 hours. Scarf that sandwich down, you deserve it.
8. Afternoon nap time.
Let’s extend that lunch 2-hours one more. No one wants to work after eating, especially since you ate more than your body weight (I mean...you skipped breakfast, you needed it.) Afternoon task: research, AKA: internet surfing.
9. The 3 o’clock struggle is real.
Time for an afternoon snack, energy drink, walk, or all of the above. Anything to help you stay awake and focused through the end of the day. You are so close; you can do it!
10. The last 10-minutes workflow.
Whatever time you get off work, those last 10 minutes are filled with either how much you can get done that you should have done earlier today. Or how long can you stare at this empty Excel sheet before people start to question your sanity?
11. Woo-hoo! You made it!
Despite how often you’ve yawned throughout the day, the second you walk out the door, you are wide awake. It’s almost like you could work another 8-hours, or you could go home and reward yourself with a night of Netflix binging.
I love my job, but there are days when my pillows whisper profanities about my job before I get out of bed. Don’t feel guilty, we all can’t be morning people. Think of how far you’ve come since college. If you can get up, put on something other than sweatpants, and make it to work, you’re doing better than you think.
Now I sit here two cups of coffee in, wondering when it’s appropriate to eat my arm off. Time for some “research.”